Past the point of no goodbye


I think I’ll hold on to this:

It has been so wonderful.


A gift, indeed

now this is coming back to me

from the oh-so-distant past of

just a couple of weeks ago

which nevertheless feels

so far back in this story

this story

that feels

as if it has lasted and established itself.

I remember telling you,

dear Magus,

that what we are experiencing is a gift

and I remember your answer

“I feel the same way”.


The few laughs

the many smiles

the passionate cries

it all comes back to me now.

And puts a smile back on my face

and makes me laugh suddenly

upon recalling


and that.


And somehow it all feels



for all our darkest fantasies

let wild.

It was all genuine.

And bathed in emotion.


So now I somehow feel

I can allow myself to love you.

It’s as if

I had taken you down and

framed you in a photo

and I can now look at it

with smiling, tender eyes.

I no longer have to fear anything,

having put this safe distance between the two of us


having restored it to what it actually is

and from this galactic distance

I might as well love you

I might as well print out your photo and put it on my desk.


Tonight the chilling drizzle has halted

and the heavy clouds receded.

The sky feels high again

and you can even guess the blue.

I walk through bluish-greyish dusk

yellow lamp-light coming on

yellow leaves littering the pavement.

All quiet.

All well.